i’ve always fixated on that...

i never got to say goodbye to you.

...one day my life was filled with your love, and laughter...

...and then the next, it never would be again.

how can i say goodbye to you...

...when life took away my chance?

as kids we think that life goes on forever.
grief is so abstract, so foreign.

even after all these years...
everything reminds me of you.

it's strange to miss you so much when we weren’t even that close at the end.

how do i let myself say goodbye to you?

i’m so worried if i say goodbye, i’ll forget...

...i don’t want to forget.

i was talking to someone about you.
and they told me,

“if we find community in our grief, if we spend time remembering with those that loved them too, they’re never really gone."

so i spent more time with your parents.
i felt more easy seeing your joy living through them.

so i spent time talking with your friends.
your kindness, your love, i see it in them.

i’m learning to cherish, not wallow in the memories of you.

i’m learning i don’t need to say goodbye to feel at peace with my memories of you.

i’m learning there’s no need to know how to say goodbye...

...because you’ll always be with me.